Kiss Me, Kill Me
by Napolean
Summary: When things fall apart in Ginny Weasley's world, she's swept into a world filled with lust, sex, drugs, alcohol, and rock'n'roll. Will she survive the sunglasses days and cutthroat nights? Cowritten by peterpanequalsluv
1. Chapter 1

**Summery: **When things fall apart in Ginny Weasley's life, she's swept into a world filled with lust, sex, drugs, alcohol, and rock'n'roll. Will she survive the sunglasses days and cutthroat nights?

**Disclaimer: **I don't think we own it, do you, **Napolean**? (Napolean: Um, no… we didn't last time I checked.)

**A/N: **:makes trumpet sound: The much anticipated and highly sought after authors **Napolean** and **peter-pan-equals-luv **have (at long last) written a story together for the masses (meaning you guys reading this). I am **peter-pan-equals-luv** and I didn't write this chapter, my good friend **Napolean** did. You would make her day if you reviewed! Should warn you: little bit slashy.

**WARNING! AUTHORS ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY HEART ATTACK INDUCED BY THE READING OF THIS STORY!**

**And since HBP was unfair to our beloved Draco, this ain't HBP compliant. So there!**

Kiss Me, Kill Me

Chapter One

Ginevra Weasley sat cross-legged on a bench opposite of Harry Potter in one of the compartments nearer to the back of the Hogwart's Express. An awkward silence had settled over the two in the recent moments. Both refused to meet the other's eyes.

"Really?" Ginny was the first to break the silence, and wouldn't have been, had she not been utterly blown away by curiosity. The mere idea that the man that she'd been completely obsessed with for the last six years was actually gay threw her off.

Harry nodded, blushing a crimson that could rival her hair. "Yea…" The silence returned, rendering them both speechless. "Are you mad?" He finally got up the nerve to ask.

She grinned, "No, but I do feel like a fool." Suddenly, she burst into hysteric laughter, "Oh my holy wow!" She shouted, "I've wasted six years of devotion on a gay guy!"

"I'm sorry, Ginny… really, I am." He said with a sigh, "I only pretended to like Cho to keep everyone from thinking that I was gay before I wanted them to know. If I were really into girls, you'd have been the first one that I would have noticed."

She bit her lip to keep from crying. It was a pretty sad fact, in all honesty. The boy that she'd been chasing for _six _**years **actually happened to be gay.

He moved closer to her and stroked her arm in a comforting way, that really didn't prove to be comforting. "I'm serious, though. I've known that I'm gay since my second year at Hogwart's… but in all honesty, I've found you attractive even since then. It's just not the same, though. You **are** my best friend's little sister, and I _am _gay. We could never be. Sorry, Gin."

At this, Ginny was furious. _What a jerk! How dare he lead me on like this? _"You know what, Harry?" He cocked a brow, to tell her he was listening. "I don't really care." His jaw dropped, sending the little devil on her left shoulder into convulsive laughter, jeering her to continue. She gave into the devil. "Now that I know why you were rejecting me, there is no challenge. Even if you weren't gay, I wouldn't be interested now." She said, lying through her teeth. She still liked him, but it hurt to. Standing up, she dusted off her robes and smirked at him. "Goodbye, Harry."

He simply nodded in her direction, still stunned at what she'd said.

She'd meant the goodbye with every fiber of her being. This was the last time she ever hoped to sit down and actually talk with Harry Potter.

As much as it made her insides churn, Ginny Weasley was through with Harry Potter. Maybe not over him, but through indeed.

**-.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:-**

Minerva sat upright in bed, beads of sweat gathered on her brows. She bit her thin bottom lip and looked over at the muggle clock she'd bought at her last outing in the Muggle World. It read: 5:34, and she sighed. '_An hour and a half 'till the students arrive… plenty of time for a nice long bath.'_ She thought to herself, climbing out of bed.

It was the third time that month that she'd been plagued with the same nightmare, concerning a few bits of her past that she'd long since wanted to forget. A trickle of sweat made it's way down her spine, catching her off-guard.

She rubbed at it awkwardly, trying to wipe it away, along with the odd sensations that accompanied it. The same sensation that **he** used to invoke in her. A feeling that she wasn't happy to even think of or feel again.

**He** was her dirty little secret.

The one thing that she didn't tell Dumbledore about, upon her arrival at Hogwart's as a teacher and all the years that she'd been working there.

A mark on her past that she would give anything to just forget about.

Making her way over to the large, ancient, wooden door that lead into her own personal bathroom, Minerva let out another sigh, somewhat hoping that it would release all the pent up toxins in her system.

Once she got to the door, she pulled it open and stalked into the bathroom, glaring at the mirror as she went. She despised her reflection, and had ever since she found out about what **he **really was. To everyone, she just looked like a stiff old woman who'd wasted her life teaching to students who really didn't want to know. Surely, they all knew her pursed lips as her trade-mark feature, but she'd never done so before **him**. It's a shame how much one person can screw up an entire life-time.

Some nights, she wished that she could just lay down in her bed and let Death creep over her, enveloping her into it's perfect solace-embedded embrace, but to no avail. It always seemed that right before Death would take it's final claim on her body and soul, something chases it away.

_A terrible curse for a terrible witch. _As **he** used to call it. Said that **he'd** never let anyone take her away from **him**, the one promise that **he **could, and was, actually keeping.

Settling herself into the permanently warm tub, she whispered out into the atmosphere, "You only have power over me until I forget you… Tom."

**-.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.-**

Blaise Zambini lie, sprawled out across one of the benches in the compartment on the Hogwart's Express that he'd previously been sharing with Pansy Parkinson, the resident slut of Slytherin. He was exhausted from their activities. You can imagine what had taken place between the two.

A rye smile was placed across his face, as the door to the compartment slid open, "Come back for more?" He asked, eyes closed, thinking that it was Pansy.

He was answered by a simple feminine huff. One that sounded nothing like a horny Pansy.

Blaise cocked his brow, squinting his left eye open to see who had intruded on his space and clearly did not intend to do him any services. What he saw startled him into the upright position and a coughing fit as well. "Shite!" He cursed, calming down from his attack.

Luna Lovegood sat opposite him, staring into his hazel eyes. She wasn't really looking at him, but that's where her eyes were fixed. By the look in those large pale orbs, anyone could tell that her mind was wandering. At his curse, she gave him a contemplating look, but only for a few moments, before returning to the world inside her mind.

His dark eyebrows knitted together, though they weren't to be seen from under his black hair. Looking her over, he took in her light features. She was pale, but not quite as ghostly as himself… had long, mid-back-length-ed, blond hair, a sandy blond, not too light and not too dark… but those eyes. Those brilliantly pale eyes… he felt as if he could drown in them, for some strange reason. It was a new feeling to him, one he didn't quite like. "What do you want, Looney?" He asked, trying to sound as nasty and menacing as he possibly could.

Her attention turned to him, causing her to pierce him with her eyes. "Did I ask you for something?"

He shook her head.

"Then what makes you think I'd want anything?" She asked, a purely innocent curious expression on her face.

Blaise shrugged, "Why'd you come in here, anyway?" He questioned, sitting back in his seat, trying to get back to the comfortable position he'd held only seconds before she'd shown up.

Her eyebrows furrowed, "Whatever do you mean?" Luna retorted, eyeing him as if he was crazy.

He let out a sigh of impatience. "Do you always answer questions with other questions?"

She gave him a blank look, "Do you?"

Putting a stern, serious, face on, he said, "No."

"Good, coz that would get annoying…" She said with a grin. Raising a hand to her face, she pushed her blondish fringe out of her eyes and behind her ear, so that she could get a better look at the boy sitting next to her.

He wasn't exactly her 'type', but then again, she really didn't have one. Was usually caught off somewhere reading her father's magazine, boys weren't the first thing on her mind. She only knew that if she _did_ have a type, he wouldn't be classified as one to fit it. And yet, she was enjoying his company, oddly enough, even though he was probably getting quite frustrated with her.

Blaise let out a bit of laughter, "Tell me about it, doll." He said, grinning like mad. This Luna girl was starting to get to him, which was extremely weird, coz if anyone else had sat there and toyed with him, as she had, he would have definitely killed them by then.

For the next hour or so, they sat together. Sometimes they'd talk. Sometimes they wouldn't. The silences were pleasant, rather than awkward, and they didn't talk to each other like a Slytherin and Ravenclaw normally would.

When the train finally came to a screeching halt, literally _screeching_, Blaise had the audacity to clap her on the back, laughing something along the lines of: "How could such an old quack create something as absolutely delightful and beautiful as yourself?"

To that, Luna did **not **respond kindly. He'd managed to insult her father and create sexual innuendo between them all in the same sentence!

She pulled back her left hand and slapped him across the face, "Don't you _dare_ insult my father!" She yelled, slapping him again. "And that was _entirely _inappropriate!"

Grabbing her things, including her trunk and backpack, she stormed out of the compartment, only turning back to shout at the stunned Zambini, "Goodbye Mr. Zambini. I did **not **have a good time. And I **can **wait until next time!"

**-.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.-**

Ron kicked off his shoes and began to tug down his pants, trying not to break the connection between his and Harry's lips. They'd been snogging every since Ginny had stormed out on Harry and Ron had come to see what had happened, almost an hour, and were finally getting to the 'good part'.

"Oh Harry…" He sighed, as the black-haired boy's hands roamed up and down his back, clutching his arse every once in a while. Whenever he did, Ron would buck his hips, making them collide with Harry's in just the right place to make him moan.

Harry grinned, grazing his teeth against Ron's neck, as he pulled his shirt over his head to reveal the freckled pale body that he could never quite get enough of.

A groan escaped from deep inside his throat, as he surveyed Ron as if he were a nice piece of meat that he was fully intent to eat. "You never cease to amaze me, Ron…" He whispered, pulling his own shirt above his head.

"Ahem!" Someone coughed from the direction of the sliding door of the compartment. The boys whirled about to face none-other than their other best friend, Hermione Granger.

She gave them both looks that shouted, 'I'm-annoyed-so-let-me-vent!' "You two would **not **believe what that evil git, Malfoy's done now!" She said in a tense voice, moving Ron's shirt out of the way so that she could sit down on a bench.

Of course Hermione knew about Ron and Harry's gayness! She'd known them just as long as they had known each other! Though, she wasn't quite sure when things sparked between her two best friends, she did know by her third year that they were sexually active. By her fourth that they were sexually active with each other.

Ron let out a sigh, picking his baby blue tee-shirt up off the ground and replacing it on his body. Sending an apologetic glance towards his lover, he answered Hermione, "I'm sure I'd have an easier time believing it if you told me what he'd done."

Harry shook his head, tugging back on his grey shirt that clashed wonderfully with his green eyes. With a huff, he settled onto the bench opposite Hermione and propped his legs up next to her, as if commanding that Ron sit next to him or not sit in the compartment at all.

It was a well-known fact that Harry was jealous of Hermione when it came to Ron's time and affection. He always had been. I could not express in **words** how much he wished he could just cast _Avada Cadevra _on the wench when she'd gone to Ball with Viktor Krum and Ron had been envious.

A sad fact, but a fact all the same.

Sure, he knew that Ron wasn't interested in Hermione in the same ways that he was interested in him, but sometimes he wished that the girl would just disappear and that he could be the only person in Ron's life.

"He was torturing the little first-years, yet again, I might add, and when I came to their defense, he told them that I was a muggle-born and to hate me!" She seethed, clenching her fists. "You know what they did?"

"No, Hermione, but I'm sure you're going to tell us…" Harry murmured in a bored voice, though he was mentally laughing at her. It wasn't that he hated Hermione. In fact, he loved her like a sister. Just his thoughts had turned sour towards her and he didn't know how to make the dreams of killing her go away, and wasn't quite sure that he would, even if he could.

She simply rolled her eyes and continued, "They stood behind him with their wands drawn! Like they were going to curse me or something!"

Ron burst into abrupt giggles, "Come on, 'Mione!" He laughed. "You can't have seriously been scared of a bunch of ten-year-olds waving their wands at you? Could you?"

A grin graced Harry's lips. The thought was mildly amusing.

Just then, the train came to a screeching halt, did I already mention that it was _screeching_?

Hermione jumped up and grabbed at her trunk. "I've yet to change!"

Ron and Harry soon joined her in the hunt for their own school robes.

**-.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.-**

"Hey, Luna!" Ginny said, upon climbing into one of the carriages. She'd been one of the smarter ones, and had gotten dressed in her school robes while still on the train.

Luna looked up from her most recent copy of The Quibbler, which was up-side-down, as per usual, and smiled. "Oh, hello Ginny!" She greeted, closing the magazine and setting it down in her lap. Her big pale eyes showed quite a bit of warmth towards the other girl. Ginny was her best friend, and in all reality, her only friend. She'd always been the one that volunteered to sit next to her in classes and on the train up until that year. Ginny had even defended her a couple of times whenever their class-mates would take it upon themselves to make fun of her.

Luna really loved Ginny. (not in that way, you sick-minded freak)

"Sorry I didn't sit with you during the train-ride, I sat with Harry for most of the ride, then couldn't find you." She said, settling herself into the seat with her best friend.

Even though Ginny wasn't as much as an outcast as Luna, she had felt that she owed her company to her in the beginning of her second year, coz no one else would give her the time of day. It was only fitting that the girl grow on her. Now they were like two peas in a pod… well not really. Luna was still a bit odd.

Luna shrugged, "No worries… I sat with B-… someone else." She didn't know why she'd stopped herself from telling Ginny that she'd sat with Blaise, she just didn't, and I am the author, so screw you if you wanted an explanation.

"Good, glad you weren't alone." Ginny said, smiling. "Guess what I found out about Harry!"

She closed her eyes in concentration, "That he's gay with your brother and has been for ages?"

Oddly enough, this sent her into convulsing tears. "With my **brother**!"

"I don't know… I just said the thing that was the most far-out that came into my mind…" Luna admitted, biting her lip, unsure of what to do to make her friend feel better.

Out of nowhere, her tears vanished, "Oh, okay." She said with a slight laugh. "Well, yes. Harry is gay."

Luna's jaw dropped, "No way!"

**End of chapter 1.**

**Disclaimer: **You know? We should make it a point to try and inherit the rights to anything Harry Potter when J.K. dies…

**A/N:** Hey, 'tis me, **Napolean**! Hope you liked the first installment of our loverly **Kiss Me, Kill Me**! Be sure to review… and if you do… I'll bake you all your favorite kinds of cookies! And… **peter-pan-equals-luv **will do your laundry for a week! Those are some great offers… not to be passed up… XD

Anywho, I really do hope you liked it and come back to read chapter two when it's posted!

Tah!

-**Napolean**

**peter-pan-equals-luv: WHAT! no way am i doing the laundry!**

Napolean: Uh huh...

Napolean: You are.

**peter-pan-equals-luv: I rarely do my own!**

Napolean: So?

**peter-pan-equals-luv: So not fair.**

Napolean: You offered up my stuff on Naughty Teachers...

Napolean: So yesh, it is fair.

Napolean: Payback's a bitch.

**peter-pan-equals-luv: Damn I was hoping you would have forgotten...**

**peter-pan-equals-luv: Are we adding this convo to the end of the story?**

Napolean: Lol, if you like

**peter-pan-equals-luv: It's up to you.**

Napolean: ack!

Napolean: I suppose, but not long ones, coz we don't want to bore anyone...

**peter-pan-equals-luv: again...**

Napolean: lol

Napolean: Right.


	2. days go by

-1**Disclaimer: Kay, I know for sure, Naploean and I own nothing to do with HP**

**A/N: Whoot! 'Tis my turn to fuck with JK Rowlings characters! Mwahahahaha…**

**You know I am thinking mayhap we should tag a humor genre onto here…**

_Luna's jaw dropped, "No way!"_

"Cha, he's gay. That's why I was sitting with him. He told me he's gay and then I left. 'Twas so not cool," Ginny said, rolling her eyes.

"I know what you mean…" Luna said, giving Ginny a sympathetic pat on the arm.

"Have you ever loved someone for six years only to find out that they're gay?" Ginny asked, squinting at the girl across from her.

"Uh… no. But metaphorically, I know what you mean."

"Metaphorically, have you ever loved someone for six years only to find out that they're gay?" Luna shook her head. "Then you don't know what I mean." Ginny said, sniffling.

"Well, that's no reason to be mean."

"Sorry."

"You're forgive."

"Friends again?"

"Always."

By the time the carriages reached the school, everyone knew that Harry Potter was finally out of the closet. Most guessed that his lover was Ron, but they couldn't prove it, so they kept their mouths shut.

Draco walked into the Hall, his usual **(sexy) **smirk in place, sunglasses propped upon his silver-ish hair. He looked around, found the usual flame of red at the bloody Gryffindor table. His smirk grew wider. He had plans for the littlest red-head this year. The fact that Saint Potter was gay and had rejected her just helped his cause that much more.

Neville chose that moment to walk in front of Draco, who's foot _accidentally_ stuck itself out and tripped the clumsy fool.

Neville picked himself up off the floor and glared at Draco, who sneered back.

"Best hurry along, don't want to be in trouble the first day back, Longbottom." Professor Snape had appeared behind the two boys, looking distinctly ruffled.

Draco narrowed his eyes at the teacher but walked to his table none-the-less, wondering why Snape's looked that way. Like he had just come from snogging someone. He shuddered at the very thought.

His back was to the doors, so he didn't see the mudblood Granger walking in, looking as Snape was.

_20 minutes earlier…_

Snape stood outside the Great Hall, watching students walk in. He spotted the one he was looking for.

"Miss. Granger! I wish to speak with you!" Hermione narrowed her eyes at the potions master. "Now, Miss. Granger, not later."

Hermione sighed and stormed over to him. Hands on her hips, she looked at him, waiting.

"My office."

With a roll of her eyes, she followed the greasy haired git down to the dungeons and into his private quarters.

As soon as the girl was in his rooms, he captured her lips into a passionate kiss.

"I've missed you so much."

Snape smirked against her lips. "Of course you did. Fine acting job you did back there…"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Whatever. How much time do we have?"

"Not long."

The girl raised her eyebrow. "Long enough?"

"Yes, I do think we have time for that," he smirked.

And with that, their lips were attached yet again, only parting when necessary (like to get oxygen and such). He picked her up and blindly walked to his bed. After hitting a few tables and such, they finally made it into the room and his large bed.

"Wanna take my clothes off with your teeth?" Snapes' eyes widened in shock. She grinned. "Ok, you talked me into it!"

"We don't have time!" With a whispered spell, their clothes landed on the floor and he could feel how hot she was for him. That made him decided to tease her. He grinded his hips against hers, not quite entering her, but making her hotter all the same.

Finally, she couldn't take it anymore and thrust herself down on his long throbbing cock, moaning as she did so. She rolled her hips, causing him to moan this time.

He pumped in and out, slowly at first, then building up speed. Their passion heightened until the world explode in more ways than one. Snape collapsed on Hermione, breathing in her sweet scent.

After recovering a few minutes later, Snape rolled off the girl and muttered another spell, waving his hand toward her stomach. Without another word, they got up and dressed, ready to face the public.

**Now that I've **completely **disgusted Napolean, on with the story! Mwahahahahaha……………**

After the Sorting Feast had ended, Luna chose to take a walk to soothe her… erm, stomach. She was almost to the prefects bathroom when she heard a noise in one of the closets. Being ever curious she decided to investigate.

Opening the door, she was stunned to see a half-naked Ron Weasley and Harry Potter snogging like there was no tomorrow.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH! My poor virgin eyes!" she screeched, blocking said organs from the horrific sight in front of her.

"Um, this isn't what it looks like," Harry said lamely, knowing that Luna knew it was what it looked like.

"Ug, does Ginny know you guys are… um… together?" Luna asked, still shielding her poor eyes.

"No… Please don't tell her! It would break her heart," Ron said, struggling to put on his pants.

"Urg, whatever! I've gotta go…" With that, Luna fled from the scene.

"Urm, guess we should go to bed…" Harry said uncertainly. Ron raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Alone."

"Damn."

Luna ran blindly down the hallways, trying to get the horrific (did I mention that already?) vision that kept getting stuck in her head. Unfortantly, when one is running blindly, that one usually runs into something… or in Luna's case, some_one_.

"Ooph!" With that, Luna fell onto her ass.

"Ouch, that looked liked it hurt, princess." Luna's eyes narrowed at the sound of Blaise Zabini's voice. Wow, is it just me, or am I writing about Luna's eyes a lot?

"Shove off, Zabini." Luna stood, ignoring the hand Blaise was holding out to her.

"Aw, now is that any way to treat someone who's being nice?" He gave her an innocent smile.

"No, that's the way to treat a slimy Slytherin git who insulted my father."

Blaise smirked. "I'm sorry. Is that better?" Luna glared at him and shook her head. "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

Luna's jaw dropped. How dare he! For the second time that day, she raised her left hand and slapped Zabini across his pale face. And with a leer, she turned and stormed back to her dormitory.

"That girl's got spunk…" Blaise said thoughtfully, rubbing his sore cheek where there was a large red handprint.

The school day started like all others for Pansy Parkinson. She got up, showered, dressed, gathered her books, and went down to breakfast. Today was Monday. First class was Transfiguration, then came Divination, and finally the greatest class of the day, Potions.

Pansy walked into Potions on the first day of her seventh year only to find out that the students would be paired with someone from the opposite house. Unfortunately, the Slytherins always shared Potions with Gryffindors, meaning that she would be stuck with someone like Granger, or worse, _Potter_. She shuddered at the mere thought that she would have to spend an **entire year** with recently-came-out-of-the-closet Saint Potter.

Pansy sauntered over to the list telling everyone who their partner was. Soon it called out, "Pansy Parkinson… Neville Longbottom." Pansy heard a frightened squeak and turned to see Longbottom standing right behind her. She glared at the boy and walked past him, grabbing his arm as she did so.

"Kay, listen here Longbottom. These are the rules. You do as I say and I won't have to hurt you. If I say jump, you say…?" She narrowed her eyes at the boy.

"H-h-how high?" He managed to pipe out. She nodded once in confirmation. "A-anything else?"

"Nope, end of rules." Snape walked in, so there was no more talking as the lesson began.

"Longbottom, get me some powdered cockroach legs."

Pansy was seated at the table with Neville standing right behind her, ready to get whatever she needed. He leaned forward to get the required ingredient, his hand brushing along her arm as he did so. She shivered involuntarily but he didn't seem to notice.

"Here you go," he whispered quietly. Does that sound a bit redundant?

She looked up into his chocolate eyes. "Thanks," she replied, just as quiet as he.

The rest of the lesson continued that way, with accidental touches and such. By the end of the lesson, Pansy was extremely horny and ready to jump Longbottom's bones.

"Um, Parkinson? C-c-c-could you help me w-w-w-with my Potions h-homework?" Neville asked reluctantly.

Pansy sighed and rolled her eyes. "Looks like I'll have to, seeing as how it's a group assignment."

Neville grinned sheepishly. "Thanks... Where do you want to study at?"

"Meet me at the library at exactly 8 o'clock tonight. 8 sharp, savvy?" Neville bobbed his head obediently. "That's a good lad." She smirked and walked out of the room, anticipating the night to come.

**And thus concludes chapter 2 of everyones favie story **Kiss me, Kill me**. Join **Napolean** and me, **peter-pan-equals-luv**, next time for… well, for our next chapter! Much lurve to our 2 reviewers!**

**Tah!**

**-peter-pan**

Napolean: Man... you did talk about Luna's eyes alot... but that's okay, so did I yesterday. Hee hee, sorry but that's what we call border-line obsession, Genius. Meh, 'tis my turn to write another chapter! So... stay tuned so that I can post it... and you can read it... and you can review... and I can read it... and we can all be happy! XD Thanks for the spelling correction on 'Zabini', but we're going to keep it as Zambini, coz I like it more... and like I said in my chapter, I'm the author, so screw you if you don't like it! Kay! Expect Chapter 3 and a **bunch** more awkward moments(come on, you know you love 'em!)!

Love much,

Napole-oli-an!

peter-pan: well I'll spell it right…


	3. Homophobia Is Gay

**Disclaimer:** Come on, guys… think about it. Would J.K. Rowling seriously spend her precious time writing on a fan fiction site? …that's what I thought. Now move on and read the story, KNOWING that I am NOT J.K. and probably won't be as good a writer.

**A/N: **'Tis me, **Napolean**! I haven't read any of the reviews of chapter two yet, but I hope you guys liked it! My buddy, **peter-pan-equals-luv** wrote that one. And if it counts, I found it brilliant! XD! Anywho, here are a few answers to the reviews I **have **read:

**Replied to:**

**Ginny-and-Draco-fan**

**mt-threat**

**And of course- frozenclover: **Yea… it's fun to point out the obvious every once in a while, especially when it concerns something that someone is _bound_ to whine about. Just eliminates their entire argument! The next one has been posted, I do hope you liked it! **Peter-pan-equals-luv** worked special hard on it! About the Zabini… if you read the little note by me at the bottom of last chapter, you probably can conclude that I very well know that it's Zabini, not Zambini… I just like to use Zambini coz I like it better. Glad to hear that you liked the smut scene! It was particularly hard for me to write… but that's okay, at least you enjoyed it!

**Warning:** Authors **peter-pan-equals-luv** and **Napolean** are _in no way, shape, or form_ liable for any **HEART ATTACKS** that this chapter, the last chapter, or the one before that will or has caused. The things you are about to read may be a bit disturbing to you, so if you have virgin eyes or weak stomachs, please close the page _now_ **(not really, coz I want you guys to read it)**. Content rated 'M' for mild slash and mild cursing.

**I'm naming this chapter: Homophobia Is Gay… and you shall soon find out why. Enjoy Napole-oli-an!**

Kiss Me, Kill Me

Chapter Three

Homophobia Is Gay

The two boys, Harry and Ron, walked together, bumping hands affectionately every once and a while up to the Gryffindors Common Room. Standing outside of the Fat Lady's portrait, Harry enveloped Ron into a hug, rubbing his hips against his lover's slightly.

Ron's eyes widened at the feeling of Harry's erm… 'bulge' and he began to shake his head furiously, being that they were _right _in front of the entrance to the Common Room.

Harry silenced him with a quick, but passionate kiss. He pulled away, not far, almost as suddenly as it had started, shaking his head. "You see what you do to me?" he asked, bucking his hips against Ron's for a bit of effect.

The red-head nodded, and for once, was silent when he ought to have been.

Nodding, he released Ron and whispered the password, "Gillyweed…" to the Fat Lady, who had been watching the interaction quite intently.

He was stunned by the sight that met him when entered the Common Room. The entire place was decorated festively in rainbows and the gay-pride sign. All the Gryffindors, other than himself and Ron, were standing around chatting boringly.

They all stopped and stared at him for a few seconds, before recognizing who he was and shouting various versions of their: 'surprise's.

Harry's jaw dropped, as did Ron's. They were both completely stunned.

Seamus weaved his way out of the crowed and clapped Harry on the back, grinning like mad. "Sorry the party's so late in your 'coming out', man…" He said, it was clear from his slurred words and raunchy breath that he was already drunk off the 'booze' one of the wanna-be Fred or Georges had snuck on campus.

A black banner hung over the fire-place, and on it, said 'Happy 'Coming Out' Harry!' in big rainbow-y letters. A grin tugged at the corner of Ron's mouth. He also clapped a hand on his friend's back, "Happy 'coming out', man." He laughed, dodging the punch that was directed at him in reply.

Looking around a bit, Harry realized that not only were all the Gryffindors there, but pretty much the entire school was, excluding the Slytherins. Almost all of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were there cheering him on. And to anyone else, that might have been a good thing. But not to Harry.

He really despised people who clapped in his honor. The attention simply pissed him off to no point of return. Then again, that's what you get from all those years of being gawked after and stared at due to a scar he had nothing to do with.

The next person to come up and greet him was Hermione, who stared at him with big apologetic brown eyes. She looked mighty tousled, but he decided against saying anything to her about it. Her arms were around him in a second, as she hugged him in a friendly way. "Sorry, Harry. I tried to convince them not to, but they did it anyway…"

He nodded, hugging her back slightly, hoping that she wouldn't notice how much he was loathing her right then. "Don't worry about it 'Mione. Was bound to happen eventually."

Just then, Colin appeared out of nowhere and started snapping that awful muggle-device, better known as a camera. "Smile, Harry!"

Smile, he did not. In fact, he growled at the camera.

"Ooo! Someone's upset that their dirty little secret's been spilled!" A feminine voice came from behind, causing him to whirl around to face Ginny.

Ron pointed an accusing finger at his little sister, though not quite as harshly as you might think; he found the entire situation quite hilarious. "This is your doing!"

She grinned widely and nodded, as if she deserved a pat on the back for her mischievous behavior. She was already smashed as a pumpkin on the morning after Halloween. "Yep, mine and Seamus', here!" Ginny laughed, hiccupping, while she practically hung on Seamus for body-support.

Seamus was smiling from ear-to-ear.

Harry growled again, then stormed off, shoving through the crowed to get to his dormitory. "That fcking btch!" He shouted, using the muggle curse-words he'd heard his cousin use so many times before when beating him up. When he reached the top of the stairs, he turned around and shook his fist in the air, "You'll get yours!" to no one in particular.

No one really cared to follow them, they were all too busy caught in the party-life. So, it wasn't noticed when Ron slinked up the stairs a few minutes later…

**-.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.-**

"Draco, mate, I _swear_!" Blaise cursed, throwing his hands up in the air. "If that girl hits me one more time, Ill-" He paused, scratching at his chin for a few seconds.

Draco frowned, and offered an all too common, "Kill her?"

Blaise shook his head.

"Hit her back?"

He shook his head again.

"Rape her?"

This time he didn't move or even attempt a reply to his friend.

Draco's jaw dropped. "You're into Looney Lovegood!"

"Don't **call** her that!" He demanded, jumping to her defense a little too quickly.

"You **do** like her!" Draco shouted, pointing an accusing finger at his best friend of… forever.

Blaise sat back down in his big floppy arm chair, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know what to do about it either."

Draco just sat there, staring at him in shock.

"On one hand," he lifted his left hand, looking at it fondly, "I think I might be falling for her. And in the other…" he dropped his left hand and raised his right, biting his lip, "She hates me."

"Awe, I'm sure it's not that bad, mate…" Draco said, trying to comfort him, for lack of a better way to react.

Blaise's dark hazel eyes met with Draco's grey ones, clashing terribly. "It is."

"How so?"

"I insulted her father… and came on to her… twice tonight." he said, voice just above a whisper.

Yet again, his friend's jaw dropped. And that's saying something, coz Draco Malfoy was not an easy person to scare or shock. Suddenly, the shock turned to admiration, as Draco punched him in the arm, "Way to go, man! And she's slapped you both times?" Blaise nodded. "Good! I think she likes you."

Blaise rolled his eyes, "You've lost it, man."

"Nope. This is why **I'm** the Slytherin sex god, not _you_."

"Slytherin sex god?" He rolled his eyes. "You've been reading those pathetic fan fictions again, haven't you?"

Draco nodded, "But that's not the point. Take it from someone who _knows_ women: She likes you."

"Whatever…"

**End Of Chapter Three.**

**A/N: **Kay, sorry that this is so short! I'm sure that our dear **peter-pan-equals-luv** will make up for it! If you review… I'll give you the rest of my Doctor Pepper! Or maybe I'll let **peter-pan-equals-luv** do the honor… either way, you get liquid cocaine!

Night to one and all!

-Napolean


	4. gettin freaky

**Disclaimer::author looks around: Nope, still don't own it! And if I did, do you really think I would be writing this? Hell no, I'd be off having fun with Draco.**

**TO ANSWER EVERYONE'S QUESTION: No, the title has nothing to do with any shows, songs, etc, etc. It's just something Napolean came up with.**

**A/N: Peter-pan-equals-luv here! My turn! First things first… Replies to the reviewers (of chapter 2):**

**Ginny-and-Draco-fan: Yea, I figured most people would be freaked out by that… I did it just to watch Napolean gag… and as payback to her for writing the whole 'Voldemort/McGonagall' thing. **

**Same thing goes to you _jjp91_!**

**Squirrel-wrath: Ah, one of my favie ppls! Agh, pls don't send them after me! They scare me… Great, now I'm worried… what's your story's name? Lurve ya!**

**Louey31: Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it! Glad to see that someone is laughing. That was **my** whole goal… that and creep ppl out with the SS/HG thing.**

**Peter-pan-equals-luv: If you don't like this story, why do you keep reviewing? You know what, I don't like you anymore! Go jump off a bridge!**

**frozenclover: You know, I thought that too about Neville. Glad to see a real person (as apposed to the voices) agrees with me. I think I know where I want that relationship to go, but you'll just have to keep reading to find out! Cha, I wrote that line for Luna cuz that's what I say about my ears when my parents start talking.**

**Darth-pansy26: Well thanks! I didn't know ppl were still reading Naughty Teachers. Glad you like all of the ships. Took us a while to figure out who we wanted with who. Lots of arguments about some of them.**

**Other reviewers to thank:**

**Dracoandme, **_frogstopper77 (ps I have read one of your stories), _hippogriffluvr

**And now… :drum roll: Chapter 4!**

**Gettin' FREAKY**

_Back to Draco and Blaise's conversation from the last chapter…_

"Wait, what do you mean 'those pathetic fan fictions'? Those stories kickass!" Draco said, defending all the people who like him on the Internet.

"Shit, you only like them because all those girls love you and write about you getting laid all the time."

"What **the fuck**? You just don't like them because people keep writing about Luna slapping you!" Draco turned to the authors and gave them a wink.

"Yo, fuck you man!" Blaise also turned to the authors. "And I would appreciate if you two would stop writing those things. My cheek hurts."

"Don't worry, luv, only a few more chapters like that, I promise." peter-pan-equals-luv said to Blaise. Draco smirked and she turned to him. "Quit laughing or I'll make you gay too." Draco looked horrified. She smirked at him and faded into the background.

"Damn, she creeps me out." Draco said with a shudder.

"Have you ever met Napolean?" Draco shook his head. "Well, just pray that you don't."

'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'**how u doin'?**.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'

Neville stood nervously outside the library waiting for Pansy. He couldn't help but think that there had been some sexual tension between him and Pansy all throughout Potions. I think there was too, but I'm not gonna tell Neville that, or he might get mad at me because I'm the one who wrote it. Neville looked in the general direction that he thought Pansy would be coming from. To his surprise, there was Pansy walking toward him, barely clad in what appeared to be a bra and an **extremely** _short_ skirt. I mean, you could totally see her ass cheeks hanging out the back. And that she was wearing a green thong. How slutty. Anyways, she walked over to where Neville was standing.

"H-h-hi, Parkinson. A-a-are you ready t-t-to st-t-tudy?" Neville managed to stutter out. By the way, I'm not making fun of people who stutter, I'm just trying to get it across how nervous Pansy makes Neville.

Pansy smirked. "Come on, Longbottom, we're not studying in the library."

Neville looked terrified. "W-w-where are we going to study then?"

"Quit being such a wuss Longbottom, and just follow me." She turned down the hall and started walking, not even looking back. Against his better judgment, Neville followed her.

'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'**not bad, how 'bout yourself?**.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'

_The Room of Requirement…_

Pansy shoved Neville down onto the couch and straddled him.

"WOMAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Neville shouted, hoping someone would hear him.

Pansy rolled her eyes and tore off his shirt. "I'm going to deflower you, Longbottom. Just sit back and relax, I'll do all the work."

"Um, Parkinson?"

"Call me Pansy when we're alone," she muttered as she bit his neck with a little more force than necessary, causing Neville to moan.

"Um, Pansy, I'm not a virgin." Pansy stopped pulling Neville's pants down and looked up at him.

"What? Really?"

"Don't act so surprised. I'm actually quite the ladies man in Gryffindor, you know, since Harry and Ron are **gay** together."

"What? They're gay TOGETHER?"

Neville looked at her like she was crazy. "Yea, you couldn't tell?"

"Why the fuck are we talking about those two?" Neville shrugged and Pansy rolled her eyes again. What is it about me and talking about eyes? Pansy lowered her head onto Neville… erm, manhood and proceeded to give him the most **mind-blowing **(haha nice play on words) orgasm of his young life. After he recovered, he managed to give Pansy such a large dose of 'Neville' that she passed out in his arms.

.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'**meh, wish this story was over, tis boring**.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'

_Snape's chamber…_

"Now do you wanna take my clothes off with your teeth?"

Snape rolled his eyes. "Damn, woman, what is it with you and the whole taking the clothes off with the teeth?"

Hermione grinned at him innocently. "I saw a movie this summer and this girl said that to a guy and I thought that it sounded fun." Snape looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged and proceeded to remove all of her clothes using only his teeth.

.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'**really? Im finding it quite amusing**.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'.;'

_Hm, haven't seen the blonde hair girl of my dreams the entire school day_, Blaise thought, walking to class the next day. Wow this story jumps around a lot… Just as he finished that thought, Luna rounded the corner, her arms so full of books that she couldn't see in front of her and, of course, once again ran into Blaise and fell on her ass.

"Wow, princess, we sure seem to be doing this a lot," Blaise smirked as he helped Luna collect her books.

Luna rolled her eyes and stood up, holding out a hand for the books that he was holding. "Whatever, can I have my books back?"

Blaise smiled sweetly at her. "No."

Luna's eyes narrowed dangerously and she growled, "Fine, then you can carry them to my class for me."

"I'd be happy to, doll-face." With a scream of frustration, Luna set off down the hallway toward her class. She stopped outside the Ancient Runes and turned to Blaise. He smirked and handed her her books, causing her arms to fill up.

"Now that your arms are full (again, is that a little redundant?)," he whispered, leaning in and planting a kiss on her lips.

CRASH!

SMACK!

"I told you never to touch me!" She screamed, her books laying in a pile at her feet.

"No you didn't," Blaise retorted, rubbing his poor, overly-slapped cheek.

Luna looked confused and turned to the authors. "I didn't?"

Peter-pan looks thru the old chapters. "No, sorry, guess you didn't."

"Oh." She turned back to Blaise. "Well, I'm saying it now! DON'T EVER TOUCH ME!"

With a quick spell, her books zoomed into her arms and she stormed into the classroom.

Blaise sighed. "Gods, how I love that girl."

**And thus ends chapter 4! Luvs to you all!**

**Peter-pan-equals-luv**


	5. Beat On The Brat

**Dislcaimer: **Again, for the third time… I am not J.K. Rowling, thus explaining the fact that I do not own Harry Potter, and really don't want to. I mean seriously girls, there are so many hotter wizards out there to want to own… mainly Blaise Zambini… woosh… sexy like loads.

**A/N: **It's me, **Napolean**, again! Did you miss me? I bet you did… and you missed the freakiness of this story too, didn't you? Don't deny it… you know you did. Well, I'm terribly sorry for the delay, and I would give you my reasons, but I don't think you want to hear me droning on and on, let alone read me droning on and on. Anywho, I hope you all loved **peter-pan-equals-luv**'s update, coz I did, and it was pretty… Wow, I got loads of props for the 'Slytherin Sex God' thing from chapter three… haha, thanks to all of you who found it as amusing as I did!

**Replied to:**

**louey31**

**hippogriffluvr**

**squirrel-wrath**

**Orlando's Dancer**

**peter-pan-equals-luv**

**darth-pansy36**

**powerofthestars**

**Ginny-and-Draco-fan**

**Liz: **Thanks! I am writing more… :D

**frozenclover: **Oh wow! That's so cool! Yea… they usually do start that way, but not always… my family started my fifteenth birthday party without me… so I figured Harry should feel my pain! Muwaa haa haa, or do you indeed… Hee hee, I know they're not all pathetic, but think about if you found out someone was writing a fan fiction about you, wouldn't you find it a bit stupid? I would if they were writing about me… Oh that's awesome! You caught onto the odds and evens thing, rock on! Thanks… heh, you're the only one who noticed the underlining SS/HG XD, be proud!

**Warning: **Authors **peter-pan-equals-luv** and **Napolean** are _in no way, shape, or form _liable for any **HEART ATTACKS** that this chapter, the last one, the one before that, or even the one before that will or has caused. The things you are about to read may be a bit disturbing to you, so if you have virgin eyes or weak stomachs, please close the page _now_ **(not really, coz I want you guys to read it)**. Content rated 'M' for mild slash and mild cursing.

Kiss Me, Kill Me

Chapter Five

Beat On The Brat

_I've got a lovely bunch of-_ Draco Malfoy's very important and highly intellectual thoughts were jostled, as he ran into an unsuspecting and **drunk** Ginevra Weasley. "What's the big idea!" he shouted. Draco hated it when his most intellectual and important thoughts were interrupted, especially by non-important losers, such as the Weasley girl.

She looked up at him with her big brown eyes from the position on the floor that she had landed in, after running into him and going flying. "Wow." was all she could manage, before she passed out completely.

"What the _bloody_ hell!" he growled, walking over to her and nudging her with his foot a bit. "Come on now, this isn't funny." he said, leaning down a bit and poking at her belly. "Weasley, wake up!"

When it became utterly obvious that she wasn't going to do as he was asking and would have liked, Draco scooped her up into his arms and carted her off to the Hospital Wing; making sure to avoid the most popular hallways and keep out of the public eye. _Don't want to ruin the 'rep', now do I?_

"Googly dum." the unconscious Ginny gurgled, a bit of spittle forming on her bottom lip, making it's cherry-red features stand out a bit more.

Draco rolled his eyes, quickening his pace. _Gods, I'm going to need a shower after this…_

"Mr. Malfoy, what have you done to Miss Weasley?" Madam Promphrey asked from the doorway to the wing when he spelled it open.

He shot her a glare, "What makes you think _I_ did this?" he asked, sounding very offended, even though he knew that it would have been a very Malfoy thing to do, injuring a Weasley, that is. _Hmm… maybe I should have left her there._

"Sorry for the accusation, Mr. Malfoy…" she said, rolling her eyes, as he dumped his load into a hospital bed. "If you weren't the one that caused this, than perhaps you saw what happened to her?"

Draco nodded, flashing her a grin. "Thinking back… I remember walking around perfectly harmlessly, doing my Head Boy duties, when suddenly, the weasel girl came _out of nowhere_ and ran straigh into me, sending herself sprawling on the floor. While personally, I found the entire situation rather rude and uncalled for, she seemed to like the view from the floor, seeing as she looked up at me and said something along the lines of 'wow', right before she passed out. I suppose it was my fault in the sense that I'm too good looking for any virgin eyes."

Madam Promphrey sighed, "This girl is drunk, Mr. Malfoy. So intoxicated with alcohol, that she's fainted. Would you mind explaining that bit of the story?"

He shrugged, "I wouldn't know for sure, but I heard a few of the younger Gryffindors talking about a 'coming out party', whatever that is, for Potter. That might have been where she got the alcohol." _Ooo, I love ratting out Potter and his cronies… there's nothing better._

**Pause**

"Draco, have you gone insane!" Napolean shouted, flicking him on the forehead.

"Gah! Except sex!" he shouted, trying to feign her off to no avail.

"That's better!"

He sighed, straitening up, "I was **getting** to that."

**Un-Pause**

The nurse gave him an odd look, "Wait a moment, weren't you standing over there?" she asked, pointing to the doorway.

Draco shook his head. "Now why would you go and think something like that? Really, professor, you should try getting some sleep every once in a while. Maybe hire a part-time assistant…"

She glared at him, "I am fully capable of dealing with my wing on my own, thank you very much Mr. Malfoy. Now, if you don't mind… get out of my office, before I have to report you for being out of bed to the Headmaster."

**-.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.-**

**The Next Morning**

"I had a really great time last night…" Neville said to Pansy, blushing slightly.

"I'll bet." she answered, the epitome of the Slytherin smirk playing on her lips.

He frowned, "You're supposed to say:" He smiled and adapted a high-pitched voice, "I had a really good time too, thank you Neville for fucking me senseless into the wee hours of the night."

Pansy burst into fits of giggles, "Neville, you're so ace!"

He grinned over at her, putting his arm on her shoulders, "Thanks, you're not too bad, yourself."

"Neville, why are you talking to _her_?" Lavender Brown asked him under her breath, sending non-stop death glares in Pansy's general direction. "Did she drug you or something?"

He smiled even wider and shrugged, hugging her tighter to himself. "What's it to you?"

Lavender scoffed, "Merlin, you could do so much better than _that_ for yourself!"

Neville facial expression turned sour, "If you're referring to yourself as the better choice, obviously you're out of your mind."

Her jaw dropped.

Pansy was watching the confrontation with increasing interest. _Wow, I've never seen this side to Neville… he must get an ego boost after sex._

Lavender took the silence as an opportunity to scurry away from the odd couple.

"Woohoo. Go Longbottom!" Pansy laughed, hugging him affectionately.

His cheeks turned a faint pink.

"Awe, good to know my sweet blushing boy is still in there deep down on the inside!"

**-.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.-**

Minerva sat up straight in her bed, clutching at her heart. "By Merlin." she whispered, wiping away the sweat gathering over her brow.

A feeling of complete and utter dread was growing inside of her and had been since a week before that term of school started. '_Something's coming.'_ she thought to herself.

She had a good idea of who that **someone** was, but didn't want to think that it was **him**. She didn't want to think that **he **was back so soon after they had just been released from **his **control.

Then again, **he** may have lost control over the wizarding world, but **he'd** never lost control over her.

**He** was the voice in her head, the one that was supposed to tell her not to do bad things, but **he **didn't do that job. No, **he **did the opposite of it; telling her the ways that she could make her students 'pay' for being late to class.

Minerva crawled out from under her blankets and made her way over to the chair in front of her fireplace, plopping into it unceremoniously.

A sudden burst of wind flushed through the room, causing her breath to catch in her throat.

Though she tried to spell it away, the wind only grew harder and harder.

"Stop it!" she shouted, giving up on her magic. "Stop it now, Tom Marvolo Riddle!"

She could almost see his smirking face under her closed eyelids.

"You're a curse! A plague, I tell you!" she yelled. To an outsider, she would have looked like a maniac, yelling at herself. "I can't stand you! You're nothing but a red stain on a white bed sheet! The biggest mistake I've ever made."

That caused the wind's force to grow even more.

"Leave me alone!"

Just as sudden as it had come, the wind stopped and there was a knock at the door.

"Minerva, are you alright? One of the students said they heard shouting." Dumbledore's voice said through the big wooden door.

She sighed, getting up out of her chair and opened the door. "I'm fine, thank you for asking." she answered, forcing herself to smile, even though she'd much rather have been crying.

He gave her a look over, not failing to notice the pale and pasty look she had about her. "Alright, Minerva… if you say so."

"I do."

**-.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.-**

"Good morning, beautiful." Ron greeted his lover, kissing his eyelids softly.

Harry stared up at the man of his dreams, relishing in the fact that he looked like a naked angel bathing in the sunlight. "You're a sight to behold, my love."

He blushed, looking down at himself. Ron had always been a little self conscious, though Harry had told him a thousand times that there was nothing to be worried over. The reason he was blushing that morning was the fact that he had a severe case of… erm morning wood, if you catch my drift.

"Having trouble, there?" Harry asked, looking down at his boyfriend's penis longing to have it buried deep within his hind-side.

Ron nodded, turning crimson. "Just a little."

"Can I help?" he asked, as he started making a little tent in his comforter.

The red-head bit his lip and shook his head. "I'll just take a cold shower, we're late to class."

Harry smirked, "Awe, that's too bad… you should have woken me earlier."

"I would have… but I like watching you sleep. You're so peaceful. I like it when you sleep… you… it's just pretty." he said, blushing.

"I like watching you always."

"Awe, you're such a romantic."

"Get out of my bed, before I rape you."

Ron squealed and jumped out of the bed, running into the boys' bathroom.

Lucky for them, all the other boys that shared their dorms were down in the Great Hall already.

**-.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.-**

"I want to fuck you until you scream, old man." Hermione said in a bubbly voice, rubbing Severus' pale bare chest with her hands.

He grinned up at her, grabbing her upper arms and pulling her down on top of him. "That can be arranged." he whispered, holding her close.

Hermione giggled at him, kissing him on the lips hungrily. "Sounds like a plan, then."

"Gah, how did I get so lucky as to find such a wonderful woman such as yourself to please my every desire?" he asked, as he felt 'himself' grow stiff.

She sat up on top of his stomach, smearing it with the warm sticky liquid from her throbbing sex. Hermione scrunched up her eyes, giving him a contemplating look, and leaned down onto him, letting her hair fall around their faces and surround them in a curtain. "I'll have to think that over sometime when I'm not so horny."

Severus moaned at the feeling she was causing him, clutching her hips and pulling her tighter to him. Growling, he flung them over and got on top.

"Ooo, you controlling beast of a man!" she laughed, giggling wildly, before grasping the back of his neck and pulling his lips back down onto her own. "Fuck me, Severus, make me scream your name for the entire world to hear!" she urged, when they broke apart from their kiss.

His grin grew wider, as he pulled back away from her, to get a nice look at her. "No, I don't think I will…"

She frowned, "Don't even think about leaving me here."

Taking one last look at her, he climbed fully out of the bed and tugged on his robes.

"You're not even going to shower?" he shook his head, flashing her a smile. "Oh, you dirty, dirty boy! Gah, you drive me insane!"

"Isn't that the plan?"

Hermione growled deep a rumble in the back of her throat. "If this is some kind of new Death Eater torture, their tactics sure have improved. Certainly are more effective."

**-.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.- Bang -.:.-.:.-.:.-**

"Ginny, he kissed me!" Luna protested, after her friend had spent at least twenty minutes trying to convince her that Blaise Zambini had more interest in her than just sex.

"That means he _likes_ you!" she shouted, throwing her hands up in the air. "How many times do we have to go over that before you get it through your thick skull?"

Luna shrugged, wrapping her long blond hair up into a pony tail. "And what if I don't want him to like me? What if I don't want to become just another one of his sex puppets?"

Ginny sighed, "When sex is concerned, Blaise usually goes for the extremely experienced girls. You're a virgin." Luna blushed. "Don't worry, everyone in the school knows it, so it's not a big secret."

"How do **they** know?"

She leaned in close, whispering just so that Luna and she could hear, "The Slytherin guys can smell it."

"So you don't think he wants me just for sex?" she asked, doubt heavy in her blue eyes.

"Now, I'm not saying that he doesn't want to have sex with you, but I am saying that that's not all he wants."

"But how do you know?"

Ginny grinned, "That's easy."

Luna gave her a questioning glance.

"If he just wanted to have sex with you, why would he go searching for you in the library with such a worried look on his face when you didn't make it to breakfast?"

"What do you mean?"

"Luna, I think we need to talk…" Blaise said from behind her.

**End of chapter five.**

**A/N: **Heh, this one is a lot longer than my update… perhaps two times as long, really. So, it must satisfy your craving of **Napolean** flavored Kiss Me, Kill Me! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing, you occupy my dreams! I just thought I should let you know that I might not be able to crank these out as fast as Miss **peter-pan-equals-luv** does these days, coz my school work is coming on QUITE awfully… but I shall try!

Sleep sweet, my loverlies!

-Napolean


	6. oh look, elvis!

**Disclaimer: Ok, I've set it up so that when J.K. Rowling dies, me and Napolean will inherit Harry Potter and all other characters… No, not really, but it will happen one day, trust me.**

**A/N: HELLO, CHUMS! Tis da bomb diggity writer, peter-pan! Did ya'll miss me? I bet you did. Now, I have something to tell all of you, something that Napolean and I (ok, maybe just me…) feel needs to be said. If you plan on flaming us, please make sure your spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc., etc. is perfect, because otherwise, we're just going to ignore you.**

**Reviews:**

**Jip91- Yea, HG/SS is one of my fav pairings… Read some of the stories about them… there's some good ones… And Blaise will be smacked some more, I'm sure…**

**Ginny-and-Draco-fan- Yea, I got that idea from the movie 'The New Guy'. It's a funny movie, you should check it out ;) Of course Neville is a ladies man! With Ron and Harry both being gay, who else could it be? Well, lots of people, but I like Neville best.**

**peter-pan-equals-luv- Bite me and go to hell, you stupid head!**

**justahpfan- Yea, I had heard that they had picked a 'Luna Lovegood' for the next movie. I can't wait 'til it comes out!**

**SilverUnicorn66- Yea, I think we should change the genres…**

**JessicaMalfoy87- Hopefully they will get together soon… I'm working on it, I promise!**

**Veronica- You like country music, don't you? I know I do!**

**louey31, **_squirrel-wrath_power of the stars**, emaleth84, **_Sakura-chama_Tomsgirl2005

**And now, on to chapter… What is it? 5, I think… Meh, oh well…**

"_Luna, I think we need to talk…" Blaise said from behind her_.

"About what?" Luna asked, glaring at the Slytherin.

"Can we talk in **private**, please?" Blaise asked.

Luna shot a furtive glance at Ginny, who smiled at her reassuringly. She turned to Blaise.

"Sure, no problem. Later you two," Ginny said, then took off running.

Luna growled and glared at her best friends' back. "She'll get hers, no doubt about it," Luna grumbled under her breath. After a few more seconds of glaring at the direction Ginny had ran off to, she turned to the young man in front of her.

"Well, what is it that you wanted to talk about?" She spat out.

"Mind if we walk and talk? I have prefect duties to do."

Luna shrugged. "Whatever."

They walked in silence for a few moments, Blaise looking at Luna for the most part, Luna looking everywhere but at Blaise. They heard a sudden noise then a low moan. Luna's eyes widen… She was afraid that it was Harry and Ron again. Blaise simply rolled his eyes and continued around the corner to where the noise had came from, Luna following behind him, not wanting to see that horrific sight again.

They rounded the corner and saw Peter-pan sitting on Seamus' lap in a niche, snogging like there was no tomorrow. Blaise cleared his throat loudly.

"What?" Peter-pan snapped, pulling her face away from Seamus'.

"Erm, my dear, you two should get a room," Blaise smirked.

"Piss off or I'll write that Luna slaps you again. I wasn't planning on her to, but I'll make it so that she does!" Peter-pan threatened. Blaise winced and nodded that he would shut up. "Where's Napolean at?" she asked Luna.

"Last I saw, she had cornered Draco in the library," Luna replied, wiggling her eyebrows.

Peter-pan smirked. "Right, well, I'll just see if I can't go find her." She pulled Seamus behind her as she stalked off, presumably to go find her **best mate**.

"Now where were we?" Blaise asked, looking at Luna, who was watching the other couples' retreating backs.

"We were walking and not talking," Luna retorted, still not looking at the Slytherin in front of her.

"Luna…"

Something in his voice made her look at him. He leaned down and captured her lips in his. This time, she didn't fight or try to pull away. She just let it happen. Slowly her arms went around his neck and his arms circled her waist. He pulled her against him tightly.

After several moments, Luna pulled away, gasping. "What was that all about?"

"I don't know," Blaise gasped back. "I just felt a need to kiss you all of a sudden."

Luna licked her swollen lips and removed her arms from around his neck, although his remained around her waist. She cleared her throat. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Oh, um," Blaise cleared his throat and removed his arms from around Luna, only to capture her small hand in one of his large ones. They started walking down the hall. "Well, us Slytherin's are having our annual Welcome Back party Friday thru Sunday and I was kinda sorta wondering if maybe… maybe…"

"Blaise, just spit it out already." Luna was looking at him with concern, never having heard any Slytherin stumble over their words before.

"**Iwaswonderingifyouwouldliketocometothepartytohangoutwithme**," Blaise said in a rush. He held his breath, waiting for her reply.

"Well, I don't know," here, Blaises' face dropped, "could I bring Ginny along?"

He let out a huge breath and grinned at the pale girl. "Sure, that'd be fine." They started walking again. "Besides, I think Draco likes her."

"You know, I think she likes Draco."

Hand in hand, they finished Blaises' prefect rounds.

()()()()()()()()()()()**My bologna has a first name**()()()()()()()()()()()

Ron was busy showering (and singing at the top of his lungs… _very_ badly, I might add) and so he didn't hear Harry he snuck up on him. However, he did feel when the dark haired boy started washing his back, thus causing him to yelp and turn around.

Harry smirked at his lover. "Scared, are you?"

Hyperventilating, Ron replied, "Not at all."

Harry rolled his eyes and gave the other boy a searing kiss.

Needless to say, it was a _very_ long shower.

()()()()()()()()()()()**It's o-s-c-a-r**()()()()()()()()()()()

Hermione ran into the Potions classroom just as the bell rang.

"You're late, Miss. Granger. 20 points from Gryffindor and detention with me tonight," Professor Snape said snarkily.

Hermione scowled at her lover and took her seat in the front row. If he thought he was going to get some tonight, he was sadly mistaken.

She continued to glare at the git all throughout class, but he only smirked at her every time he looked her way. By the end of class, she was ready to cut either one of his head's off.

"Nine o'clock, Miss. Granger. And don't be late," Severus reminded her silkily at the end of class. She flipped him the bird and stormed out of the classroom. He chuckled softly to himself. She wouldn't remain mad long.

()()()()()()()()()()()**My bologna has a second name**()()()()()()()()()()()

"Hey, Neville, wanna 'study' together tonight?" Pansy asked him seductively, running her hand up and down his arm.

"No, sorry, I have homework to do," Neville replied distractedly as he scanned down the page of a large tome.

Pansy pouted and leaned close. "If you think you're getting out that easy, you're wrong. Last night was only a teaser."

Neville finally looked up from the book and stared her straight in the eye. "Pansy, no means no."

Pansy's eyes narrowed dangerously. Without another word, she stood up and stormed out of the library, muttering under her breath.

"Damn, Nev, that was harsh," Peter-pan told him, staring at him from her place on Seamus' lap.

"Someone needs to put her in her place," was all he said, his face buried back in the book.

Peter-pan smirked and turned back to Seamus'.

If there was any guy who could put a girl in her place, it was Neville Longbottom.

()()()()()()()()()()()**It's m-a-y-e-r**()()()()()()()()()()()

"So, how did your talk with Blaise last night go?" Ginny asked innocently.

Luna shot her a glare, then sighed. "He kissed me."

"He _kissed_ you!"

"He **kissed** me."

"_He _kissed _you_?"

Luna glared at the girl again.

"Come on, it's your turn," Ginny smirked.

"As pay back for leaving me last night, I'm making you come with me to the Slytherin party on Friday," Luna retorted.

Now it was Ginny's turn to glare. "Like hell I will."

"Fine," Luna turned and walked into the Great Hall. Ginny continued to glare for a moment, then sighed and ran to catch up with the other witch.

"Alright fine, I'll go," Ginny grumbled.

Luna squealed and threw her arms around Ginny. "Thanks."

()()()()()()()()()()()**I love to eat it everyday**()()()()()()()()()()()

"_Tom! Tom, where are you?" Sixteen year old Minerva peeked inside an empty classroom. It was after midnight and she had no idea why Tom had asked her to meet him here at this time. It was cold!_

"_I'm over here, Minerva. Come to me," the sensuous voice came from the corner of the abandoned classroom._

"_Tom, why did you want to meet me here? It's late and I have an exam tomorrow."_

_Tom stood up and walked over to the young girl, capturing her in his arms tightly, covering her full lips with his soft ones. "Hush now, it will all be alright."_

A much older Minerva sat up with a start.

"Damn you Tom Riddle." She climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom. After turning on the water and letting it get nice and hot, the professer slid into her large tub.

"Damn you to hell."

()()()()()()()()()()()**And if you ask me why, I'll say**()()()()()()()()()()()

Dumbledore lay in his bed. He knew about Minerva's past. He knew that she didn't know he knew. He sighed. He also knew that the former Tom Riddle was hunting her. She was pale and withdrawn and had been every since the Dark Lord had returned.

"Psst."

Dumbledore rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the little voice, which we all know is pointless.

"Psst."

Dumbledore stuffed a pillow over his head. He was suddenly shaken quite roughly.

He turned in his bed and snapped, "What?" Peter-pan and Napolean stood at the side of his bed, just like he knew they would be.

Peter-pan grinned sheepishly at him. "We can't sleep. Tell us a story?"

Dumbledore glared at the pair and shook his head sternly.

Napolean pouted at him. "Please?"

He rolled his eyes and sat up. "Oh, alright. Hop on up."

()()()()()()()()()()()**'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with b-o-l-o-g-n-a**()()()()()()()()()()()

**A/N: Alright that's all I'm writing. I have another chapter for a different story to write and it's getting late. Hope you enjoyed this and don't forget to tune in next time for Napolean's chapter.**

**Tah!**

**Peter-pan**


	7. I Just Wanna

**Disclaimer:** Nope, JK's still alive… meaning, we haven't inherited the rights to any of the Harry Potter stories or characters yet. The day will come… **pats peter-pan-equals-love **on the head fear not, my genius friend, our day shall come.

**A/N:** Hey there lovelies, **Napolean** here! Bet you're ready to kill us… well, that'll have to wait til you finish the chapter… unless, of course, you don't want to read it! Which I doubt. Highly. Hell, _I_ want to read it… **peter-pan-equals-love** wants to read it. I think. EEP!

**Emaleth84**

**Powerofthestars**

**puresilver**

**Peter-pan-equals-love**

**SilverUnicorn666**

**Ginny-and-draco-fan**

**Hippogriffluvr**

**Mell8**

**JulieMalfoyZabini**

**Justahpfan**

**Louey31**

**Squirrel-wrath**

**Ginny-and-draco-fan:** Aww, I love you. :

**Asia:** Oh you little pornaholic, you! Haha.

**Warnings: ****Napolean **and **peter-pan-equals-love** are completely and utterly in no way, shape, or form responsible of any allergic reactions, exploding appendixes and or hear attacks that this story may induce. Please proceed with caution.

Kiss Me, Kill Me

Chapter Seven

I Just Wanna

"You know, honey-bunny…" Ron whispered sensually, kissing his way up his lover's collar bone and neck to his ear, at which point, he bit it playfully.

Harry let out a groan and rolled over on top of him, gazing down into his deep blue eyes briefly, before abruptly kissing him on the tip of his nose. "What, love?"

Blushing, Ron looked away, biting his lip shyly. "There's supposed to be a big Slytherin party tonight that we're missing out on."

He grinned lazily, allowing his hair to droop down into his bright green eyes. "Oh?" Ron nodded, causing him to grin more widely, "Well then, we'll just have to make a party of our own right here, won't we?"

The red-haired boy's eyes widened, and he glanced back up at his lover just in time to feel the hardening rod growing against his inner thigh. "Oh my-" he was cut off by the sweet soft lips of the boy he'd fallen for years before.

**-.:.-.:.-.:.-Bang-.:.-.:.-.:.-Bang-.:.-.:.-.:.-**

"Luna, you cow! There's no party here!" Ginny growled angrily, glaring dangerously at the pale girl cursing furiously at the statue of Salazar Slytherin that blocked the entrance to their Common Room. No drum beats from obnoxiously loud music or sounds of teenagers crashing about drunkenly could be heard from their end of the entrance. Sighing, she slouched against the wall, "He probably stood us up."

Luna abandoned her attempts at cursing the statue into letting them into the Common Room and frowned sadly at her friend, "Do you really think he would?"

"Hell no, I wouldn't!" Blaise shouted, jumping out from behind the statue and whirling her around to face him. Smiling devilishly down at her for only a moment, he planted his lips firmly onto hers.

She almost responded, but only just for a second before she shoved him away and slapped him hard against the face.

"Harsh, Luna." Ginny laughed and shoved her friend in the shoulder, "You're not supposed to hit the boys you like anymore. It's very muggle _third form_ of you!"

She blushed furiously and muttered a brief apology, biting her lip. "Habit?"

Nursing his sore cheek, Blaise nodded, walking back towards the statue, beckoning the girls to follow him inside. "Uhm… drinks are with the ugly one by the fireplace." he hollered loudly over the blaring music, nodding in the direction of Greg Goyle. "And anything else ya'll might want is with the other ugly one by the chess table." This time, he nodded at Marcus Flint who was gnashing his teeth while playing an intense-looking match against Vincent Crabbe.

**-.:.-.:.-.:.-Bit-.:.-.:.-.:.-Later-.:.-.:.-.:.-**

Ginny sat in a not-so-comfy big green chair in the corner of the Slytherin's Common Room, nursing a strong iced concoction gingerly pressing it up to her lips for a sip every so often. _Oh yea, this is the life…_ she thought to herself, feeling very out-of-place and rebellious for being at an underground Slytherin party.

_I've got a lovely bunch of coconu- oh God, not again!_ "Weasley?! What the bloody hell are **you **doing here?" _If she passes out again this time, I swear I'm leaving her here… to get mugged and raped by some sleazy sixth year that can't get any on his own. Oh yea, Draco… you'd never sink that low… being the Slytherin Sex God and all.. Oh shit. I'm rambling again._ Draco quickly coughed his way out of his own thoughts and glared down at her expectantly. "Well?"

She flashed him a sweet smile and giggled out a hiccup. "Aw, and Blaise said you wanted me here." she pouted lamely, blinking up at him as seductively as she could possibly muster.

**PAUSE**

"Woah, woah, woah, young lady!" Napolean snapped, yanking Ginny out of her chair, "What the hell is with the forwardness?!"

Ginny hiccupped and laughed at the author, giving her a silly grin, "Maybe if you hadn't spiked the punch, Poleooo." she giggled, stumbling back into the chair she'd occupied moments before.

"B-b-but _I_ like Draco!" the author wined, stamping her foot angrily.

"BOOOOO!" peter-pan ordered, chucking her entire bag of microwave popcorn at Napolean. "ON WITH THE STORY, WOMAN!"

"Pshh, fiiiyen!"

**Un-PAUSE**

He frowned, shaking his head to keep himself from lapsing into another long-winded mind-debate. "So.. Is this what you expected, then? Out of a Slytherin party?" _Oh yea, Draco. Great way to start a conversation… you suck. Great. Now I'm insulting myself. What the hell happened to Slytherin Sex God? It's official, I'm going mad. Oo! Look, she's talking! Wait. I'm missing it! Nooooo!_ "What?" _Greeeat. Now you're looking interested, way to blow your bad-boy rep._

"Well, you're all a lot calm-" she was cut off by the sight of a **very **nude Thomas Knott running by the statue and up the stairs to what she assumed were the boys' dorms. "That's more like it!" she cheered, raising her glass up for a giddy toast.

Draco laughed at her clearly-drunken cheering and clinked glasses with her, "That's nothing, compared to what you'd see if you actually went **up** there."

Her eyes widened, "Really?" He nodded, grinning. "And what _would_ I see if I went up there, hmmm?" she slurred, as she tried to give him yet another seductive grin.

He hopped up from his spot next to her and offered her his hand, which she took almost immediately. "Words could not explain." he said in what was only a sheer attempt at his usual charm. "So I'm guessing you're just going to have to find out!"

**-.:.-.:.-.:.-Bang-.:.-.:.-.:.-Bang-.:.-.:.-.:.-**

"What's that?" Luna questioned, eyeing the strangely-shaped huge purple glass object in the middle of a circle of big green floor pillows. It was large and round like a bowl at the very bottom but narrowed towards the middle, where six thin hoses came out of the '_thing'_. It thinned more after the hoses and widened at the very top in the shape of a smaller bowl.

Blaise laughed at her ignorance and shook his head, plopping down onto one of the pillows and patting the one next to him. "This lovely lady is **Medusa**." he said with a grin, handing her one of the many hoses.

She frowned, sitting next to him and taking the hose and eyeing it suspiciously. "Okay…" Glancing over at him, "What am I supposed to do?"

"Do what I do." he chuckled with a grin, bringing the hose up to his mouth and sucking lightly on the tip.

Luna mirrored his actions, pressing the tip of the hose to her lips and sucking a strange, sticky gas into her lungs, too thick to be just oxygen.

Her lungs were ready to burst by the time Blaise finally removed his hose from his mouth, signaling for her to remove her own. "Hold it in," he said in a strained voice, trying not to let too much air out while he spoke.

For a few more seconds, she was able to hold her breath until he let out a small puff of smoke. She could practically _feel_ her throat burning, as she coughed and sputtered to get the smoke out of her lungs. Her mouth was dry and tasted like dirt and musk, "Drink." she choked at Blaise, going into yet another abrupt coughing fit.

He couldn't help but laugh, handing her his drink and patting her harshly on the back a few times. In thick dark letters under where her hose protruded from 'Medusa', a name appeared. "Yeaaa! Your first time, and you're already 'Lady Iron Lungs'."

Luna scowled up at him, slurping down the entire drink, trying to sooth her throat - it felt like someone had taken a piece of metal and scrapped the crap out of her lungs. She handed him the empty cup and glared moodily at him, "What the hell was _that_?!"

"That, my dear. Was the muggle drug popularly referred to as _hash_."

**-.:.-.:.-.:.-Bang-.:.-.:.-.:.-Bang-.:.-.:.-.:.-**

Something about the way she looked that evening had her standing in front of her full-bodied mirror, gazing at her worn flesh. Minerva traced the tight-knit wrinkles of her lips and neck. Tears formed in her eyes, and she sniffled to hold them back from falling.

"How can you still want me?" she whispered into the air, frowning and biting her lip.

Stepping away from the mirror, Minerva curled up in her favorite chair by the fireplace, allowing her eyelids to droop and herself to fall into a light snooze.

"_Minnie, you look beautiful." he swore, grinning down at her, as she checked herself overin the mirror for what had to be the hundredth time._

_She frowned, meeting his eyes through the mirror, "Do you mean it? Won't they notice?" she questioned, eyeing her slightly rounded middle suspiciously. "Professor Dumbledore knows we're together, Tom - if he finds out, you'll surely get the-"_

_He cut her off by embracing her from behind, wrapping his arms around her and allowing his hands to rest protectively on her stomach, "No one will know." he promised, kissing her on her neck just below her ear. "I'm not going anywhere."_

**End.**

**A/N:** Whatcha think, dears? **peter-pan-equals-love** says it's too short, but I disagree. Hokay, I admit - it's a bit short. QUIT LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!

breaths

I hope you liked it : and school's doing better, so I should be able to keep up with updates a LOT easier from here on out.

**-Napolean**


End file.
